Hello & welcome (:
Goodbye if it's not fun.

so many things
so little time
so much to take
so little strengh
so much to whine
so little time to spare

definations
1.DKMS:
those were the days we went through all quarrels that brought us together. we're still together in heart, aren't we?

2.GROUPIES:
those were the days that we all had each other, enjoying all the fun times. we still do now but the chances are like precious diamonds.

3.BOYFRIEND:
those were the days that i can take a bus from school and dropby his house and into his arms. but now his voice is the priority one.

4.FAMILY:
those were the days where we see each other at home always. but at least now we still do have dinners together to keep the family together.

5.STUDY:
those were the days we complain about exams. but now i realise it is nothing as compare to now.

turning point of life?
i wish i never have to go through.

AWESOME WEEKEND WITH DADA & BATMAN!

but the part where he had to fall in and i had to leave wasn't nice at all.
BUT TO MAKE THINGS SOUND HAPPY, IT WILL BE A LONG WEEKEND WITH DARLING NEXT WEEK.

WOOOOOOOOOOPIEEEEEEEEYAYA! 5 more days!
a link i got from pearlyn's blog: http://memyselfmine.blogspot.com/
and i tell you, some people enjoy love life till they've got their hair all white and they enjoy their love life till old age. but this girl in the blog, she could only enjoy her love life for 4 years and heaven above happily took her love away from her.

if i was her, i can never know what will life be ahead no matter how strong i can be.
just image what you have for such a long period of time.
image you always had what you're happy with.
image that something could be a motivation in life to put you through every obstacles.
but just at the very moment when you're hoping for that something to come back,
you realised it's gone forever. like forever that it could only be in your mind, heart and soul.

the feeling is like losing your parents and just any of your love ones.
this is too sudden for that poor girl to take it.
it's hurtful, torture and its a different kind of love she had to go through.

darling, please do stay with me, please.
i wanna tell all of you a secret.
im having my crazy havoc assignments month.
AND ITS SUCKS LIKE HELL!

and and and 2nd secret, i went totally weak, like really weak that i stand with jelly legs, all thanks to my red aunt. i swear this pain is worst than any other cramps i had before. my womb is getting weaker already. and i always neva hear advices from my mother. now i suffer ): thanks joycelyn for accompanying me after lesson!

i also realised i don't really have alot of gal-frens in skool to acc me after lesson. and it's very sad esp when such sittuation of having red aunt happens. no one to understand as much as you're suffering at that point of time ):

and then another secret, darling's coming home in 3 days time!
YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE THAT YOU KNOW IT'S IN 3 DAYS TIME ?
it's really happy until siao the kind of feeling lo!
i was doing 3D jus now in the early evening. eveything went smoothly and i started to get the hook of what i was doing. then until night, i got stucked. i dunno how to do certain thingy. been doing trial and error here and there but i still cant get what i want.

whenever things get started, the problems pull my motivations down.

mother told me i can redraw from my course and get something new. i was damn happy when i hear that. BUT, that was only the first part of her sentence. she contiued saying, you pay your own skool fees only lo. then POOOOOOOOOOOOOF, my smile went off.

this is a struggling year. too much, really too much.

darling's down with tekong cough and having fever.
i feel useless as i can do nothing ):
all i can do is only hear him over the phone.
i wonder how he is.
how he looks like now, thinner or fatter or darker.
I JUS FREAKING MISS HIM ):


right now, its week 15 ever since skool started in april.
and i have 4 assignments to be handed in on the 17th week.
with the math done, im left with not even 2 weeks cos the dateline is the monday of the 17th week. that's the rush im getting now.

been real down lately, and i just realised it's the end of the month. and that means it's the period of soon-to-come-red which causes my mood swing. to hell with it you know. this PMS of mine wasn't this bad in the past only until lately. cramps comes super early too and i've been feeling very very bloated lately. i can be feeling super hungry yet the bloat-ness stops me from eating on the other hand. to hell being woman sometimes.

im gonna stick on the brighter side of life and tell myself that after week 17 it will be the long vacation! darling's coming back in 5 days time.

glad? very glad of course but aint really happy either.
if i was in your shoes, i would feel all the fun.
but in my shoes, i was feeling all down and sad.
i don't know why, but i am not happy that that happened.
probably i wasn't totally into your shoes.
or i was exoecting too much?

why did i not see this coming?
no i am not happy ):

lately, i've been nibbling on food food food late at night and esp when mother packets food home after 10pm. my tummy is getting bigger already and i swear (no dramas) that my tummy is as big as 1 or 2 months pregnant lady! still don't believe? i'll show you when you ask (depending if i dare or not la. HEE!) my pants are kinda getting a little tight too. fats at tummy area are real huge problem and i want it off badly ):

now i am happy and i wanna call myself good gal BECAUSE i start my assignments already! im trying to skip the idea of what they call "last minute work". and i really wish i need not rush thru the dateline.

i just finished my bathe and am waiting for darling's call.
YOU KNOW WHAT ? 9 MORE DAYS TILL HE COMES OUT LEI!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEE!
i really miss snuggling into his arms.
stuffed nose, dry throat.
classmate still giving me attitude.
a month to finsh up 4 heavy-load assignments.
tell me my life is great.
that's bullshit man, really.

on the birghter side, after clearing all this shit load of work, it will be the long vacation already! i really really wish by then, WE GROUPIE COULD HAVE A MEET UP. btw, im feeling the distance from you, melissa lim already. i guess we better meet up real soon when the long vacation comes okie. get a day off from kaiwen and your CO please. yes, im begging you.

just like evryone else, i feeeeeeeeel like braking down and say give up ):
but for the sake of myself, I HAVE TO LIVE ON!
damn it, i just told a damn big lie.
keep finding stuffs to keep myself occupy but i cant seem to concetrate very much when i find them. i hate this feeling! like mummy said, "when it comes to love, you're hopeless!"

i feel very lousy that i can't control myself for being so clingy. im seriously seriously hopelessly dependent on him. but then again, is that a crime?

kinda getting used to the short little calls but then again, i would be more happy with longer calls. he sounds happier after each night of call. i guess that's good for him. i can never not admit that i always feel better after his every call. he still jokes and makes me smile even his jokes are not fabulously funny =P those little smses i get from him just makes me melt and wish he's just right in front of me telling me ):

12 MORE DAYS! and i am still strong! or am i not?

oh, i really really really really miss my boy ):
ITS THE EARLY MORNING (or rather midnight of yesterday)!
ONE DAY DOWN SINCE HE ENTERED.
i have like 14 more days till he gets back!
im a loser shit i know and i can't stop counting down. every once in awhile of the day i have this bad habit of looking at the calendar to see the date and count to the day he gets back. i know i can just remember but as i said, bad habit, cannot stop.

HE CALLED ME JUS NOW AT 10PM! i wanted to chat alot alot with him but the call ended in just a min ): oh ya, and and and, he told me that he has some beng bunkmates. hohohohohoho, wonder how he befriends with them. the scenerior i picture is just funny; a beng says hello to a beng and they beng beng together. MUAHA! opps, sorry dada when you read this. HEH! but again, i really felt like crying hard when we hanged up ):

well, not forgetting i met up with my bestdamnBITCH, TAN SIYING. i can't never stop teasing her whenever i meet her. bitch, i really love those meet-ups (: later on, pearlyn, drusi, sanyo and alvin came to find us after their interview which has taught them quite a number of knowledge about teeth. haha! and sorry sanyo and alvin to screw grapevine chilling due to my cajun chicken. SOMETIME SOON AGAIN YA!

and yes bitch, i don't mean to make you cry or what, but like i say, you have me and the many bestdamnGROUPIE of us whenever you need us. and make sure you stay out of that ass. alvin could be a better choice you know. HAH!
dada is at tekong now.
he cant msg me and i cant msg him. great.
the only thing i can do is to wait and just only wait for his call at night. another great.
i couldn't send him down this morning due to lessons ): yet another great.
yesterday was a great night but it could be better it things didnt turn out that way. another another great.

its just two weeks that all of you might say, but two weeks is a killa to me. great of the greater. yes it is and i cant control but being a weeping ass for the last few days. great until cannot great.
i really don't know what am i so scared of you know, but... just by thinking tat he is into army for TWO YEARS, im just feeling very insecure. not that i don't trust him but it's just that im used to having him around 24/7. and now, i can only have him on weekends (on the account that if both of us are free.)

handphones have been/might have been the greatest invention today but i can tell you, having the actual person by your side cannot be any greater than that.

i miss dada and i know he does too (:

Labels: Great, great-er, great-est.

gave school a missed. the whole upper body of me are aching and numbed. cant sit for long neither can i stand for long. and if i lied onto my bed, my head goes running wild.

right now, im venting here while resting from my ducking drawings which is ducking due tomorrow and i can't ducking concentrate ):

DUCK SCHOOL!
and i screwed myself.
sorry.

On a day like today
I looked at you and I
Saw something in the way
You stared into the sky
I saw you were sick
And tired of my wrong turns
If you only knew the way I feel
I'd really love to tell you
But I could never seem to say
The things I needed to
On a day like today
no other words would do
its monday today.
and monday has the colour blue....
ohhh blueeeeeeeeee.
siao.

now all i can remember was the great day on saturday! truly awesomely great saturday! daytime was all boring though, stayed home slept till like noon. until evening, i started to get prepared and dressed to go AMK hub to meet pearlyn, weiting, sanyo, alvin, leonard, kenneth, cheefai and stanley for early dinner. we had japanese!

later till like 6 plus, we set off to go NP for andy's event. he was super high after drinking alot and behaving weirdly which i thought quite amusing too (sorry but its really did amuse me) but then again, thanks andy for inviting us to your party! it rather low at the beginning but kinda fun at the end (:

then, it was ard 9 plus 10 when we left the party. i don't really remember what time too. anyways, we headed to clark quay for drinking and decided to shisha too. it was really kinda fun that all of us were competiting who can shisha and blow out the most amount of smoke. it was really pure fun at that time. those little talks among were warm and i love them.

after drinking and all, most of us were hungry so we headed to serangoon for prata shop! hahhahahaha!
it has been a all great weekend which i hope i can have it everything weekend with them. ):

and btw, THANK YOU SANYO FOR ALL THE RIDES! (:

as for today, it just suck totally. keep sleeping in class. classmate giving attidude and all. seriously, at this moment im on the dark side of my life. no gaining sympathy, but just some facts that im facing these days. aint any cool at all you know?

boyfriend is heading into NS this friday.
tell me, tell me, 2 years passes in just a wink of time ):
if you think the movie HANCOCK is all about hancock himself, let me tell you, YOU'RE SO WRONG. get what i mean or do you not get what i mean? yes, i said, the movie is not just about hancock the super hero himself but there's a heroine too.

hohohohohoho, i hope im not leaking too much. SO BOOK A DAY AND GO WATCH!

im finally done with my 3D assignment which is due today.
all the last minute work are pushing me down.



i seriously could have done better. very much better.
most credits goes to boonleng and veesheng.
thank you guys alot.

this world isnt beautiful anymore
neither it's easy to please anyone and everyone anymore.
i really really wished i had not taken up the challange.
you guys are really unreasonable.

at times, i really wish i can cry and just get into the arms of my parents and have them to solve my every problems. but for now, im all on my own, everyone is turning into a baddie with a knife in their hand. im scared, really scared.

ps: jiawei, sorry i can't make it for movie marathon.
darling, a little song for you.

Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whisper in the night

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I can't fake it.
And I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do
Way I do...

Your touch, your skin, can't believe the way you let me in
Don't rush tonight, I need you like the ocean needs the tide.

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I can't fake it.
And I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

I always thought I would stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I can't fake it.
Now I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you, baby
The way I do

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

I love you
I need you
I want you
the way I do

I love you
I need you
I want you
the way I do

and i love mummy! i told her the apples are very nice and for the past few days, mama has been going into NTUC to see if there's stock for the apples. if there is she'll buy them home. now i have like 20 of them in the fridge? I LIKES, LOVES THEM and of course LOVE MUMMY!(:

as for today, went to meet up sanyo, jialong, alvin, isaac, stanley, chow, drusi and peipei for the movie "WANTED". i would say the actions are somewhat similar to "THE MATRIX". to me, it was worth the watch and admiring angelina jolie doing all the hot action pack moves. i went like WOW!. anyways, another nice meetup with you guys!

WHEN CAN HAVE WHOLE OF GROUPIE HUH? ): miss you guys!

and, thank you you you you and you for all the advices!