Hello & welcome (:
Goodbye if it's not fun.

until today i can't understand how life should be lived. you?

dad always tells me, "once you have decided, don't ever regret".
but i do, always.

somethings in life i want soo much but
it's impossible/not right to do it/have it.
i can't seem to control myself from temptations.
actually, it's not every temptations i can't control,
i still have my limits.
that, im proud of yet not very proud either.

dad also told me that i have pride, but sometimes too much of it towards the wrong things.
ego kills it all.
but pride keeps me going with confidence, he don't know.
i have very little amount of confidence in me if you all don't know too.

i keep comparing myself to others. i should not do that.
but i can't help it. they are all having all the goods in life!
or it's just all on the surface that i can see only?
i don't know, but i jus feel they are better than me.

i have no talents.
i have no specialities.
i have nothing!
nothing but just a lazy bum who sucks my parents blood.
so tell me how not to compare?

one thing i know very much of myself that im good at,
i love giving excuses to lie to myself, to avoid reality.
seriously, what's with life that it should be lived so much worth it?

and yes, currently im looking for cheena songs. kinda boredd with my english songs already. so any nice duet cheena songs or any nice latest/oldest cheena songs, please do intro/send to me! thanks loads!
dada! and my readers, here i am updating.
life's kinda boring. work, home, work, home, work, home, etc....

lucky i still have my girls to keep me going.
just only last nite, i went to experience my first clubbing (with pearlyn,kaixin&weiting), sadly at MOS. but happily, it was an eye-opener for me. you can see havoc people dancing wildly, you can also see weird nerdy people dancing like william hung, giving entertainment to on-lookers like me. i sound damn mean, but i was really laughing my ass off with the ladies when we saw this man whose face can't really be seen clearly due to the lightings. he was dancing literally like william hung and dressed in those hawaii flowery collar shirt and long pants la. BTH!
anyways, i was damn relunctant to get onto the floor to have fun cos was really damn paiseh. but when things got warmed up, it was really high. all you do is dance and forget everything on your mind! and like pearlyn also said, "another form of exercise". haha! i was sweating after the fun but i enjoyed.

later into midnite, sanyo,alvin,andy & leonard came to look for us! and we went to indochine for another drink. supppose to head back MOS but things got high and wild afterwhich and so, we went home. by the time i reached home it was already 4am. sooo, this's my first time of clubbing. wad about yours ?

im actually looking forward to more with you ladies! and at least one time with dada too (:

and yes, dada told me this, "if i sign on dear, once you grad, i take you to a holiday." even if this doesn't come true, dada, im really happy that i hear this from you! :D

onto my side of having darling to sign on, im really in a delimma. if darling signs on, im selling him to the country for like years? and with that i really cannot bare for him to do so. but on the other hand, for the sake of better life in future, he has to and must do. when we got together, we were just like having each other like every young adult's going for an relationship. but now, darling has got into army, and he has more burden on him. he starts to think more for his future and im getting scared of reality now. the childish me doesn't want him to sign on cos i would have very little time with him ):

but all in all, all for the better life, YOU GO DARLING! JIAYOU!

and yes, there are many movies i wanna watch! if darling's around, he'll be the first to accompany me go watch (: house bunny, stepbrothers, mamma mia, my best friend's girl, all the boys love mandy lane, babylon ad, bangkok dangerous, etc. damn it! i miss the times when i have overnite movies with darling and stayovers at his place!

it's just like only yesterday that i had darling with me for two weeks to enjoy love life like every couple do. but when this new week comes, he has return to NS life. he has got into OCS like many others. im happy for him but on the other hand, im not totally happy either cause he has a freaking confinement of 3 weeks. he has an off on hari raya but has to report back on the same day. how sucky can this be? VERY SUCKY! wad's more, he might have to serve a 9 days outfield trip in brunei which means i can't contact him for 9 days you know? if i had not chance upon the poor lady's blog whose boyfriend died during the outfield trip, i won't worry so much la... i really hope he won't have it!

you know, his voice is the best thing i can have now. having him right in front of me is a bonus in life i tell you.

alright, to prevent you from clicking cross from this page, i share the wonderful meeting-up with the always wonderful girlfriends. we met up to have lunch at HANS. afterwhich suppose to head to cityhall's topshop but in the end spend the whole afternoon till evening at singapore national museum. what we do there? PHOTOTAKING LIKE MAD! hahaha! alot of them pose to take pictures of themselves (i did too. hehe) and we of course took many funny photos together! i'll share a few of my favourites out of all (:


when sky went dark, we headed down to clarkquay; candy bar, to drink and gossip and share every secret! i felt really good to have the ladies' ears and to lend my ears too (: thank you ladies!

those days that i have not been updating was that i have been working, meeting up with darling, celebrate melissa's birthday, progressing in learning my driving, etc. there's also one more was that i went to watch my very first muaythai show all thanks to darling's coach who got the free ticket (: i truly enjoy the fight although it's damn cruel. better than watching contender asia on televsion you know! haha!

i've got work tomorrow for half a day and full day on thurs and fri. might not get to hear his voice ): sadddddddddddddddddd



ps: readers/friends who uses fake eye lashes, do check THIS out!




oh wells, yesterday and today, i was brought onto the road to drive. i could drive but i was all tense and stress, cannot coordinate nor concentrate. everything gets better only when dad kept scolding scolding me and drive me mad. guess my wish to get my driving license has still a long long long long looooooooooooooong way to gooooooooooooo ):

right onto sunday night, it was meet up with GIRLFRIENDS! it is always ultra super duper good to meet out everytime! no one knows how fun, but we know it's very fun!


the food we all shared! (the healthiest-look-alike-food is for our healthy plyn chua. HAHA)

credits to PLYN CHUA who is the photographer (:

haven been updating yet again cause i damn lazy! suppose to load up pictures of the wonderful day i had last thursday with the ladies at sentosa/ cafe del mar. but damn lazy. might load the rest when have the mood, MIGHT ONLY LA. as for now, only the 2 below. hehehheh (:

just by doing this when you're a baby, you'll get your every way. right now, just doing the same, you'll be called awfully ashamed. BUT I SERIOUSLY FEEL LIKE DOING SO, VERY MUCH!

money is the problem that is affecting me very much. am i being too spendthrift or i really have too little allowance? everything is real real real real tight this month. VERY MUCH.

wanna know how much kellyn hates kellyn ? FUCKING MUCH! why?

she's the one who always get naggings/scoldings from family.
she's always making her parents fed-up.
she's the one whose father has given up hope on her.
she's the one who cant be any better than her brother who's often being praised.
she's the one who's always nowt scoring high.
she's a fucking lazy girl.
she's the one who fucking wish for a good life but aint doing shit.
she's the one who has fucking fats everywhere.
SHE'S JUST SOMEONE WHOM SHE HATES HERSELF!

my mood now? crying, sad, just thinking why am i really here on earth being so useless.

seriously, mum's struggingly with money for household and my pocketmoney. her leg condition has worsen and i haven been a good girl. she has nagged until she's tired of nagging at me. she cant be bothered with me anymore. worst, i don't help in housework as much as i did when i was younger. now im older, i tend to care for myself and only myself. i also tend to throw my temper when im the one at fault. when she starts scolding me, i would always blame her for not being there for me. i just throw every fault to her. there's just too much that i haven been doing to be filial.

my father? i dunno. i do love him, i really do. but we havent got that kinda bond every father and daughter have. and i do envy those girls whose fathers are always there for them, showering them concern.

brother? he dotes me alot but he's busy struggingly with his parttime degree and his fulltime work to make ends meet.

"Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence, my father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then spin me around ‘til I fell asleep"
one of my wish would be that i would want to dance with my daddy and feel the love i longed from him on my wedding day.

my mind now is just FUCKED UP.
im FUCKED UP
kellyn's just FUCKED UP.
so ya, this post is just so fucked up.

im sorry people, just my place to vent it out. would greatly appreciated if you could put yourself in my shoes before you start scolding me if you hate me.


and and and, i desprately selling of this bikini which is totally new!
please check it out here and spread to those who are looking for cheap bikini. THANKS ALOT!

so can anyone guess who she is? she has gone through nose job, rumours of boobs job. and anything else, im not sure. but then again, she has the ideal face features i would wish for especially her mouth.



if i can, if i could, i would die to be like her. pretty punk girl!
now onto a hot babe that i would die to be her if i can. HAHA!


she has mainly wordy tattoos which are kinda meaningful. im very sure most guys would know her especially after the movie transformer. SHE IS JUST HOT HOT HOT LA!


all thanks to the society and all human beings, most of us feel inferior and often compare ourselves to someone better. just why can't people be staisfied? why? i really really feel inferior and i hate my tummy, the 3months-look-a-like-tummy. some of you might be thinking why am i not talking about boys but girls. no worries, im straight just that i tend to look at women more then men unless ultra hot looking like him(s):


ps: many credits to the owner of these pictures!