Hello & welcome (:
Goodbye if it's not fun.

until today i can't understand how life should be lived. you?

dad always tells me, "once you have decided, don't ever regret".
but i do, always.

somethings in life i want soo much but
it's impossible/not right to do it/have it.
i can't seem to control myself from temptations.
actually, it's not every temptations i can't control,
i still have my limits.
that, im proud of yet not very proud either.

dad also told me that i have pride, but sometimes too much of it towards the wrong things.
ego kills it all.
but pride keeps me going with confidence, he don't know.
i have very little amount of confidence in me if you all don't know too.

i keep comparing myself to others. i should not do that.
but i can't help it. they are all having all the goods in life!
or it's just all on the surface that i can see only?
i don't know, but i jus feel they are better than me.

i have no talents.
i have no specialities.
i have nothing!
nothing but just a lazy bum who sucks my parents blood.
so tell me how not to compare?

one thing i know very much of myself that im good at,
i love giving excuses to lie to myself, to avoid reality.
seriously, what's with life that it should be lived so much worth it?