Hello & welcome (:
Goodbye if it's not fun.

you see, sometimes you really really know you have many people around you willing to lend a listening ear or be there when you need time. but just sometimes, you really really really feel you're all alone and feel very stress out and you don't know how to translate the stress to anyone else. you only just feel like being alone and unknowingly bottling up every burden in yourself. i hate this feeling. really hate. after hearing some stuffs from friends about a friend who thinks about me, i really feel i-don't-know-what's-that-feeling. can you imagine always in class there is this classmate of you always making you laugh, telling you jokes, teaching you the skills on how to work this software, how to do this homework, how to finish this project. but just POP, some stuffs happen and both of you are not talking anymore. when he is with one classmate, you can't be there too cause it will feel awkward. only after he leaves then you can start talking to that classmate and this becomes that the classmate becomes the middleman. you don't dare to get near to him, you don't dare to look into his eyes. you feel sad, yet at the same time angry because he says stuffs about you, the bad points. you hate him and you hate yourself more too. bet you have friends who don't always attend school because they don't have friends or because they don't like school and think it's a waste of time. so now i feel like them. very much like them but yet like i say before i can't afford to back out just like that when i've left a year or even lesser to complete this diploma. sometimes i really wonder how to hardcore clubbers can enjoy their night so much yet get on the life in studying. like freaks la! they have money yet also have the energy to club all night long! LIKE WHAT THE HELL LA. i complain i whine im just a freaking bitch.

my bad instincts are here again. please don't come true.